Exit Glacier

Today I felt good enough to hike to the edge of Exit Glacier.  That’s really the name of the glacier – but it sounds like it ought to be the punch line for a joke or a stage direction in some play.

Exit Glacier is part of the Kenai Fjords National Park, just minutes north of Seward.  It is in the northeast corner of the Harding Icefield.  The area has three different trails you can take:  a half-mile hike (one way) takes you just below the glacier’s terminus (aptly named the Toe Trail); a 1.25 mile hike (one way) over somewhat more difficult terrain brings you to the glacier’s edge; a 3.9 mi (one way) hike brings you to the top of the glacier at the Harding Icefield. 

We opted for the 1.25 mile hike.  The first part follows the same paved trail as the smaller hike to the toe.  After that, the terrain became uneven and rather steep.  At about the 1 mile point, I was ready to give up.  The steep climbing was making my lungs ache.  But I couldn’t give up.  I had worked too hard to get to that point.  So I rested for a few minutes, then started anew.  One foot, then the next, and the next  . . . until I was on my way again.  I was very proud of myself for that decision.  Almost as proud as I was that I hadn’t caved in yesterday and got a big dish of ice cream. 

When we reached the top, I couldn’t believe the view of the valley as well as the glacier.  I sat on the rock and contemplated the glacier.  10,000 year old ice.  Just imagine the history that has occurred while that ice was sitting there, covering huge areas of land.  And the land that we were on – just a few short years ago it had been under all that ice.  In a sense we were standing on new soil – at least new to the effects of modern life. 

Looking at a glacier from the valley or another mountaintop, it appears to be white and clean.  But up close, glaciers can be very dirty.  They are moving and they grind soil into the ice as they do.  So there are streaks of brown in them.  There are also areas that glow with an eerie kind of blue ice – areas where there are cracks and holes in the ice.  The glacier we saw on our cruise, Holgate Glacier, made a considerable amount of noise.  Exit Glacier did not make any significant noise.  The only sound besides the wind was the rushing of water flowing from beneath the glacier.

The return hike was a bit easier because, as the saying goes, it was all down hill from there.  I felt so exhilarated that I had completed the 2.5 mile round trip and got to experience for myself the beauty of the glacier and the view.  All that treadmill walking had definitely paid off.

Driving out of the glacier access area, we were treated to a visit by a young coyote.  He was wary but not fearful as he trotted down the road next to the car.  The only time he felt the need to move into the undergrowth was when a vehicle came along going a bit too fast.  He was a treat.

We drove north a bit to a scenic overlook and were treated to a bald eagle soaring on the thermal currents above us. 

We stopped at the market on the way back to our room and picked up some beverages.  Tomorrow we check out here in Seward and drive over to Homer for the remainder of our vacation.  I’m looking forward to that.  As incredible as the view is from this room, I just have a good feeling about staying in Homer.  We’ll see how this intuition pans out.

Hit by a Whale?

I was afraid I would pay for the 6 hour cruise we took yesterday.  Don’t get me wrong.  The tour was great and I had a good time.  But those of us who live with fibromyalgia know that we often pay for the things we most enjoy.  I was right!

I woke this morning about 7 AM with some of the worst pain that I’ve had in the past year.  It was primarily left-sided  -  back, shoulder, neck and head.  The headache in my left forehead and face made it almost impossible to get up.  But staying in a prone position was causing more pain by the minute.  I felt like I’d been hit by one of those mega-ton whales we saw yesterday!!

My day is something of a blur from that point until now.  I took pain medicine and muscle relaxants.  I put on a Thermacare heat wrap (felt like I could have used half a dozen!)  I have been eating and sleeping all day.  No trip to the Exit Glacier as planned.  No walking.  Nothing but this room – from the chair to the bed.  My husband has been good about it but noticeably frustrated – and I don’t blame him.  I feel bad not being able to do anything with him today.  Gratefully, he has learned enough about fibromyalgia and me to know that I like it even less than he does.  You just have to do what you can and let time do the rest.

I’m starting to come out of the fog, so hopefully the rest of the vacation will be better than today.  Time for some fresh air on the balcony.

Kenai Fjords National Park — Whales, Birds and Sea Lions

I’d have posted this yesterday, but we didn’t get back to our room until 9:30 PM and I was really exhausted.

We took a tour yesterday – a 6 hour cruise into the Kenai Fjords National Park.  It was done by a company called Kenai Fjords Tours and left from the small boat harbor, perhaps a block from our hotel.  Our tour, called the National Park Cruise, left port at  3 PM.  It included dinner and was to last 6 hours.

The captain was also our tour guide.  The boat was far from full since we were going out on the Wednesday before the July 4th holiday weekend.  From our perspective, that was a good thing.  As we sailed out of the harbor, the captain gave us some historical information on Seward, Alaska.  We had not known about the strategic part played by Seward in WW II or about the fort built above it.  We sailed through Resurrection Bay, heading for for the Harding Gateway – the entrance to the Bay from the Gulf of Alaska in the North Pacific Ocean.  The scenery was stunning and the captain pointed out places of interest as we passed.

Then we found him/her!  A northern Pacific Humpback Whale.  We have seen humpbacks in New England waters when we have taken whale watch tours, but they are always amazing.  Such huge animals.  In the Pacific, as we learned, they spend the summer in the north, feeding almost non-stop.  They winter in the waters that surround the Hawaiian Islands or Baja California.  When they are in the south, they have their calves.  They fast the whole time they are in southern waters because there is so little food for them in those waters.  No wonder they gorge themselves when they come north, where food is abundant!

We made a stop at Fox Island in Resurrection Bay to pick up our food.  No – not nuts and berries.  The cruise company owns property on the island and runs a little resort there, complete with chefs who cook all the meals.  So we put into dock to pick up our dinners, then sailed away – the stop took perhaps 2 minutes. 

Back in the Bay, we passed Rugged Island and made our way into the Gulf of Alaska.  As we moved out of the Bay, we encountered clouds that made it gray but were high enough that they didn’t interfere with wildlife viewing.  (It had been sunny in the harbor.)  It was very cold outside the cabin, but since it’s also very difficult to use the camera with gloves on, I ended up with REALLY cold hands.  I took so many pictures, I wore down the camera batteries! 

Dinner was served in the upper and lower cabins.  Salad (iceburg lettuce, really), rice pilaf, half an ear of corn, a piece of tender, well-cooked prime rib (had to be with the plastic knife and fork), 2 small slices of salmon filet, roll with butter and lemonade or ice water.  You could purchase wine or beer.  My husband added an Alaska Beer Amber, which was quite good.

While cruising, we saw many birds, sea lions and whales.  I’ll give you a list of everything I recall at the end of this post.  The end of our journey away from Seward was the Holgate Glacier in Kenai Fjords National Park.  The captain told us he would shut down a quarter mile out from the glacier, but it seemed closer to us.  As we drifted there, we listened to the noise coming from the glacier.  Because the glacier moves, you hear it as it creeps forward and overcomes snags.  It isn’t just a bit of crackling, like your bowl of Rice Krispies.  The sounds are more like cracks of thunder or the report of guns.  Loud.  Sudden and unexpected.  Occasionally pieces of glacier would come loose and fall into the water.  This ancient piece of ice silenced all on board in wonder.

We hated to leave, but we were running late – not that anyone really cared.  We got in about 9:15 PM although the sun was still high enough to be seen over the mountains.  The fresh air and cold had been envigorating, the wildlife plentiful and the food was good. 

So — what did we see?  Birds included (but weren’t limited to) Double Crested Cormorants, Bald Eagles, Black Oystercatchers, Common Murres, Horned Puffins, Sooty Shearwaters, Surf Scoters and Glaucous-Winged Gulls.  Animals included Stellar Sea Lions, Humpback Whales and Dall Porpoises.  Sadly for me, no Orcas.  I really had hoped to see one.

A word or two about the porpoises and whales.  Dall Porpoises look like mini-Orcas and are actually related to them.  They are some of the fastest animals in the water and like to play in the boat wake.  They were a lot of fun. 

We didn’t just see a few whales.  We actually saw 19 humpbacks!!!  Some were feeding, others playing.  It was astounding.

What a great tour!  We highly recommend it if you are ever in Seward.

Alaskan Rest Day

When we’re on a long vacation, we try to build in a rest day or two.  These are days when we don’t run around very much, so we can enjoy the days when we do more.

Today was one of those days.  I got a really good sleep last night.  The mattress was firm and my body cooperated.  I awoke about 6 AM with a few aches but nothing like the previous day.  That’s really helpful on a day when we’re not doing much.  I find that when we are doing a lot, I can ignore the pain better.  When we’re mostly relaxing, it’s a lot more difficult. 

My husband went down for breakfast, but I wasn’t hungry so I decided not to eat “just because.”  I went online while trying to see through the fog that blanketed the marina and mountains.  The whole landscape was covered by a gray shroud.  The meteorologists had said today would be like yesterday, but so far I was not convinced.

When my husband came back, I gave him the computer and sat in the armchair, feet up on the ottoman.  I could not see the snow capped mountains yet.  So I pulled out a novel and read for a while. 

By about 10 AM the fog had thinned a bit.  I could now see across the bay.  We decided to take a short drive along the coastline in Seward.  As we left town, the road we were on turned into hard packed dirt - a bit like a washboard, too.  We came upon a beach access at Lowell Point, part of a state recreation area.  We walked the short distance to the beach – perhaps 5 minutes.  We found a black sand beach covered with small rocks, some of which seemed to be from cliffs that had been blasted for roads.  It was lovely.  You could just make out the forms of mountains across the bay through the fog.  There were two men – spaced a respectful distance apart – fishing from the beach.  As we walked back to the car, we encountered two women who asked if anyone had caught any fish.  The women appeared to be local Native Americans (Aleuts) and were very pleasant.  We were treated to a visit from a soaring eagle as we approached the car. 

We continued on our way, returning via the same dirt road – the only road – into the area.  We commented on obvious rock slide areas that had damaged some of the small bridges.  Then I spotted something in the water.  It was a sea lion.  We watched for a while.  But since sea lions can swim under water for a considerable length of time, it wasn’t long before he disappeared from sight.

As we traveled further, I spotted something else in the water – but I knew it wasn’t a sea lion.  It was much smaller.  It was a sea otter!  There he was, floating along on his back, rear feet paddling every now and again while he ate some tasty morsel.  When we had almost reached the paved road, I spotted another sea otter and we stopped to watch him.

We returned to our room and I read again while my husband wrote our vacation journal.  I settled back into the armchair to read.  Suddenly, the top of one of the mountains across the bay was shining like it was gold plated.  In a few minutes, the sun was shining.  It was beautiful!  I went out on the balcony to feel the sunshine.  I spotted a sea lion cruising the marina, swimming under the rows of boats, surfacing in the “aisles” between then submerging once again.  My husband joined me and we shared the entertainment.

Eventually we were both hungry.  Instead of going out to eat, my husband ran across the street for take-out and brought it back to the room.  We sat in front of the window watching the sun sparkle on boats, water and mountains while we ate.  We would have eaten on the balcony, but it is a bit on the chilly side today with the breeze that blowing.

While I write this, my husband has taken a walk to a “lagoon” across the street.  Armed with the camera and binoculars, I suspect he out “hunting” for eagles or other wildlife.

I plan to enjoy the view from this room for the rest of the afternoon.  I have never seen anything more beautiful and I want to etch it into my mind so I will never forget it.  Even quiet days here are remarkable.

It Only Gets Better!

I have never gone on any vacation before (and I have been on many) that got better day after day.  I will no longer be able to say that.  Alaska was awesome from day 1 and has only improved with time.

This morning we checked out of the hotel in Anchorage and our destination was Seward.  However, had we simply set out for Seward when we checked out, we’d have been here by 11 AM – a little early for check in.  So before we left Anchorage, we went over to Potter Marsh.  This is a boardwalk set up in a marsh.  It’s quite large and well maintained.  They even have a “volunteer host” who camps out in the parking lot and is available for help or information.  Very user friendly.

When we arrived, it was partly sunny and cool.  There were 2 other people on the boardwalk and they left before we’d gotten very far.  We basically had the place to ourselves.  It was unbelievably quiet and peaceful.  We watched the water birds – many with chicks – as they floated along.  I took photos of both birds and scenery – what an amazing sight to see the mountains reflected in the calm water of the marsh.  As we walked along, we could discern the paths of animals through the grasses and wondered what animals they might have been.

I looked at the trees ringing the marsh and spotted a small white dot in one tree.  Grabbing the binoculars, I discovered it was an eagle.  We finally reached the deck which was at the end of the arm of the boardwalk we had chosen.  In the distance we could see what had to be a beaver pond, based on the dead trees sitting in it.  A careful look revealed the beaver’s lodge.  We watched for a bit but saw no telltale beaver noses plowing through the water.

Then I went to the back edge of the deck and looked at the tall grasses.  I held my breath!  In the grasses I spotted 2 long ears sticking up – on alert!  It was a moose.  At first I thought it was a calf because it seemed so small.  I spoke to it quietly, asking after the mother.  Suddenly, the moose made her way to her feet and I could see that it was a young female, not a calf.  She stood there getting her balance in the uneven footing of the marsh bottom.  Then she began to graze, pulling up tufts of long grass as she slowly moved toward our position.  That’s right, I said toward us.  There was no fear.  She ate quietly as we stood even more quietly.  Occasionally I spoke to her.  After she crossed directly in front of us, she began to move away at a slight angle.  I thanked her for sharing her morning with us and she turned around and looked back at us.  I took one last photo and she did not move away until she heard the shutter.  Then she turned her attention back to the main task at hand – breakfast.  We were grateful to have witnessed this moose waking and rising.

We were walking back to the parking lot when we were again stopped in our tracks.  This time the eagle which I had spotted in the tree came swooping down.  Apparently not to be upstaged, the eagle landed perhaps 100 feet away in the tall grass.  Within seconds it rose again abruptly, taking a path directly in front of us to return to the tree.  I managed to get a couple of photos which I hope won’t be too fuzzy. 

Back at the car, we set off for Seward.  We had spent over an hour at the boardwalk at Potter Marsh.  It was one of the best hours I’ve ever spent.  We now set out on the Seward Highway.

The Seward Highway is one of 13 roads in this country designated as “All-American Roads.”  As far as I am concerned, it could be an “All-World Road.”  The first stretch of the road we traveled was the same stretch we had traveled on our first day.  However, same does not mean there was nothing new.  Last time we saw mountain goats on the cliffs.  This morning we saw Dahl sheep.  There was even a male with huge, curling horns. 

We stopped at the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center.  This is a zoo-like facility that rescues injured wildlife that would be unable to survive on their own.  While many of the species were animals we have seen in the wild, we were able to see a small herd of wood bison that we never would have seen without the facility.  The are cousins to the American bison of the Great Plains. 

After our visit to the center, we drove along the Seward Highway again – marveling at the high, jagged peaks of the often snow capped mountains.  Driving in the valley made me think of pictures I’ve seen of Austria or Switzerland.  We stopped at one turnout for a photo.  I noticed a paved walkway that descended even deeper into the valley.  I decided to walk at least part of the way and my husband decided to accompany me.  As we walked along the path, with wildflowers on both sides, we noticed how quiet it got.  You could hardly even hear the cars passing by.  It seemed as if we were the only 2 people in the valley.  I was so grateful that I had started walking on my treadmill again last April.  I was able to walk the entire path down into the valley and, more importantly, back up without any panting or shortness of breath.  I really enjoyed that walk!

We did hit a couple of stoppages caused by highway construction projects.  However, the view was far superior to that we had during the stop in Wasilla and the time seemed to pass more quickly.

Just before getting into Seward, we passed a large turquoise blue lake.  It was stunning.  It was so still that the surrounding mountains were reflected in it as though it was a mirror.  We stopped for a better view.

All told, it took us about seven hours from check out in Anchorage to check in in Seward.  That’s why we never listen to the folks who tell you how long it will take to get from one place.  It will always take us longer since we like to explore along the way.

We checked into the Holiday Inn Express in Seward.  The lobby is lovely.  The room is fine, especially the arm chair with ottoman.  Oh, I forgot – the room overlooks the small boat marina on Resurrection Bay.  That’s right – the hotel is right on the bay.  If we walk out onto the small balcony (or even look out our windows), we have a most incredible view.  Row upon row of boats, mostly white, some with tall white masts; tour boats; charter fishing boats – all bobbing on the bay.  Some have colorful sails furled, some have bright colored flags or buoys attached.  The water sparkles.  Across the bay, snow capped mountains dip their feet into the water – there is no flatland here.  The blue sky is strewn with fluffy white clouds that occasionally kiss the mountains tops as they float past. 

Our only definite plan while in Seward is to take a day cruise up into the Kenai Fjord.  I’ll let you know how that goes.  In the meantime, I plan to sit on the balcony and try to read – though likely the view will be too great a distraction.  There will be some walks, I’m sure and probably a few drives.  But there will be some wonderful time for rest and reflection. 

I don’t know what Alaska can do to top this day, but I have learned never to sell anyone – or anyplace – short.

Alaska rocks!!!

Alaska – The State that Delivers!!

Yesterday, on our first day in this state, we had taken a short drive along the Seward Highway.  While watching the tide rush back in to the inlet was interesting, it was the wildlife that really excited us.

Our trip took us no more than 15 to 20 miles away from our hotel in Anchorage.  We really didn’t have specific expectations.  We certainly got treated to more than we anticipated!

We had not even traveled 10 miles when a bald eagle flew into the trees that crowned the cliffs (some as high as 3000 feet high!) that lined the roadway on our left.  It was beautiful!  We’ve seen eagles before in our travels but they never cease to impress.  Our Lakota friends tell us that their culture sees eagles as the ones who take prayers to the Creator.  They are always amazed when we tell them that, whenever we are in a place where eagles are supposed to dwell, we almost immediately have one that swoops down in front of us from our right to our left before landing and watching us.  I guess we’ll have one more tale to relate to them!

As we drove along further, I spotted an odd shape at the top of the cliffs.  This was in a very rocky section of the cliffs and I couldn’t imagine what would have a shape like that.  I asked my husband to pull over and got out the binoculars.  It was a mountain goat!  I got  a couple of photos, then watched.  We brought 2 pair of binoculars, so we both trained them on the cliff.  Suddenly there was a second goat with the first.  They clambered over the rocks at the top of the cliff as if it were level ground.  Amazing! 

We drove a bit further, passing humans trying to emulate the mountain goats by climbing the rocks.  They are but poor imitations!  We saw a couple of small waterfalls cascading down the rocks.  Since it was getting a bit late, even though the sun seemed to say it was early afternoon, we decided to turn around and head back to the hotel.

On the drive back, my passenger side was now along the cliff walls.  I spotted a group of perhaps 8 mountains goats gathered in a cleft perhaps a quarter down the cliff.  We were not able to stop in that location because the road was narrow there.  It was still exciting.  Then, further along, we spotted something familiar.  It’s a phenomenon we’ve seen many times, especially in Yellowstone National Park.  There were about 6 cars pulled out.  All the occupants were standing outside the cars and all were looking in the same direction; some were pointing for the benefits of others.  Of course we stopped too!  There atop the cliff were three more mountain goats!  More photos.  More watching through the binoculars.  More amazement – especially for me.  I am prone to vertigo at heights and can’t even imagine being up as high as the goats were, let alone walking around on the rocky sides of the cliff!

This morning I had a slow start due to the fibromyalgia.  As is typical with fibromyalgia, the activities of the day (including sitting in a plane for so many hours) caught up to me the following day.  When you add to that only about 5 hours of sleep and a slightly soft mattress, it brings a morning that starts with pain.  So the day started with Thermacare and pain meds. 

But as those of us with chronic pain learn, the mind can be an amazing pain reliever too.  We started out with a drive to Kincaid Park.  Along the way, we watched for moose.  We were not disappointed.  We spotted a female perhaps 100 feet off the road, eating her breakfast of leaves fresh off a tree.  We pulled over to watch her.  Within a few minutes I thought I saw another moose in the trees.  As we watched, the second moose did materialize – a calf!  The female’s baby from this season.  The calf wanted breakfast too and began to nurse from it’s mother.  I can’t tell you how long we spent watching them.

We had not driven another mile when I spotted another female moose.  The one was on the other side of a chain link fence (likely designed to keep her and others off the road) perhaps 25 feet from the road.  WOW!  We pulled over and I decided to try climbing the small hill to be at eye level with her.  She did not move.  I was so surprised, because moose can be wary and easily spooked – or so we’d been told about them.  Not this girl.  As I took the first picture, her calf came out of the woods and started eating leaves right next to her.  I almost dropped my camera!  But the best was yet to come . . .

After I had taken a few shots, I whispered to her that they were beautiful . . . and repeated it a few times, very quietly.  Then I started to move away along my side of the fence.  And she and the baby followed me!!  I stopped and took another photo – they were now no more 5 feet away from me.  This wasn’t a zoo.  But I was as close as I would be able to be if it were.  I wondered if she would try to “come after me” to protect her baby.  But there was no aggression.  I slowly moved further down the fence.  They continued to follow me!  I told her again how beautiful they were, then made my way down the embankment and back to the car, where my husband sat open-mouthed.  He couldn’t believe what he had just seen me do.  Heck, I couldn’t believe it either.

After such an awesome start, it was a bit disappointing that the park gate was not open yet when we arrived.  We decided to take a walk while we waited and set off down what turned out to be a (snowless) cross country ski trail.  We enjoyed the sounds of the forest and the sights and smells.  You could see the paths made through the tall grasses by unknown wild animals.  When the park opened, we entered and checked it out.  They have what they call a “Disc Golf Course.”  What?  Disc and Golf Course don’t seem compatible.  It turned out to be a course set up like a golf course, but the goal is to get the discs (AKA Frisbees to some of us) into a trap made of metal chains.  Very interesting.  Great for kids and I suspect there would be less chance of injury and liability than, say, a skateboard park.

Our next destination was the Matanuska Valley outside of Anchorage.  On the way we spotted another member of the local wildlife community – a beautiful hawk.  I pulled out the bird book, but my husband, who was the only one with binoculars, didn’t get a sufficiently long view to positively identify it.  Ah well, it was still beautiful.

The Matanuska Valley is home to the Matanuska Glacier – or what’s left of it.  We spotted it from the roadway when we were still miles away.  It looked different than the patched of snow and ice on the mountainsides.  It appeared thicker and denser.  We drove in the packed dirt road to the admission building.  I don’t know how you come to own a glacier but this one appeared to be privately owned.  We paid the fee and signed the liability waiver then headed in.  When we reached the parking area and saw the circuitous path that would be required to get to the glacier itself, I opted to look from the distance.  I may have been walking on the treadmill for two months, but I didn’t like the look of the terrain along the way.  From where I stood, the glacier was perhaps a quarter mile away as the crow flies.  Had I been able to fly, I would have been there in a second.  My husband decided to walk to the glacier.  It took him at least 20 minutes to get there and the route was not as good as it initially looked.  It turned rocky and uneven as it rounded the bend.  But between the photos I took and his descriptions, we have a great idea of what it was like.  I found the blue glow from the cracks and crevices particularly interesting.

We decided to take an alternate route back, rather than return the same way.  Mistake!  I can’t tell you if the road was being paved because it’s Sarah Palin’s home town or because it needed it, but the section of the Palmer-Wasilla Highway that we traveled had more new pavement than I’ve seen anywhere in New England in a long time.  What’s up with that?  Anyway, we were stopped in the traffic for at least 15 minutes and had plenty of time to “admire” the governor’s hometown.  It impressed me about as much as she does – that is to say, not much.

The rest of the trip back was uneventful and I’m hoping to get a much better night’s sleep.  We already have the drapes drawn and I’ve taken my sleeping medication.  As soon as I finish here, I’m going to brush my teeth, put some quiet music on here and play more games – slow, quiet, brainless ones. 

After all, Alaska is the only state we have visited (and it’s number 45!) that has delivered on it’s promises right off the bat.  No playing around or teasing.  No false advertising.  It is beautiful and it has wildlife easily viewable.  I can’t wait to see what else Alaska has in store for us — and for that I need sleep!

Anchorage – Here We Are!

It’s 8:20 PM here in Anchorage, Alaska – though you couldn’t tell it by looking out the window.  If I were home, I’d think it was about 5:30 PM. 

I really had to think about what time it was here because I can’t see a clock from here and when I looked at the time on the computer, it said 12:20 AM.  That’s right – AM!  As in morning.  After consulting my husband, I now have a formula.  Take the time on the computer and subtract 4. 

But it’s helpful to know what time it is back home.  No wonder no one is available to chat on Facebook!  I was up at 5:30 on Saturday morning.  It’s now almost 12:30 AM on Sunday there – so I’ve been up for 19 hours now!  Please forgive me if I get goofy or incoherent.

We flew Northwest Airlines from Bradley Airport in Windsor, CT.  My husband, in his thoughtful way, saved enough for us to fly first class so that my fibromyalgia might not act up so badly.  Although service at Northwest’s ticketing counter left a lot to be desired, the flight itself – from Hartford, CT to Minneapolis, MN, then Minneapolis to Anchorage, AK was very smooth. 

We checked into our Homewood Suites hotel about 3 PM and got settled.  Then because it was still so light out, we decided to go for a short drive.  We drove along Seward Highway for a while, watching the tide rushing back into the Cook’s Inlet on the Turnagain Arm. 

When we got back, I tried to write this.  But I was losing mental acuity, even though I wasn’t sleepy.  When I got knocked off line by AOL, I took it as an omen and gave up for the night.  I played silly computer games, trying to turn off my brain.  Nothing doing.  After being awake for almost 20 hours, I went to bed.  But I still had to pull the covers over my head (no small feat when you sleep with a CPAP mask) before I could fall asleep – the light was still coming around the edges of the curtains! 

Have to plan better and try some different methods tomorrow night!

Wild Send Off from Connecticut!

We started off on another vacation early this afternoon.  Our ultimate destination is Anchorage, Alaska tomorrow afternoon.  But we left early this afternoon so we could stay at a hotel near the airport in Windsor, CT and not have to get up quite so early in the morning.

We stopped in Manchester, CT first.  I needed new sneakers for this trip – mine are worn and not giving the proper support anymore.  I guess that’s what happens when you start walking a lot more than you had been – even if it is on the treadmill.  The sneaker store happens to be across from one of our favorite restaurants – Ted’s Montana Grill – so of course dinner followed sneaker shopping.  Ted’s offers what few other restaurants offer in this area – bison on the menu.  Bison is great and much better for you than beef.  It’s very lean.  Dinner was delicious.

After dinner, we made our way to the Doubletree Hotel.  It started raining on the 20 minute drive to the hotel.  Must be those “pop-up” thunderstorms they talked about on the weather last night.  The only problem I have with the Doubletree Hotel is they give each member of your party a fresh-baked, warm cookie when you check in.  Many of you may see this as a blessing, but since I still have over 60 lbs to lose, it was a cruel temptation (to which I am proud to say I did not succumb!).  My husband ate them both.  He can gain back some of the 20+ lbs he’s lost since the end of April.  I am in this weight loss battle to win this time and have been amazing myself by making decisions not to eat certain things.  I hope to keep that up throughout this vacation.

After we checked in, while my husband checked some things on the internet, I turned on the TV to see what was on.  At that time of day I was expecting Oprah.  I got the local weather.  They were doing a special broadcast due to the severe weather threats in CT.  What severe weather?  Where?  Oh, they told me.  And they showed me!  The whole state was under a severe thunderstorm warning.  There were flash flood warnings.  WOW!  All we had in Windsor was some thunder and lightning, but nothing much more than a moderate storm. 

The radar showed the severe weather was hitting several areas.  There was one particularly evil looking cell that was only about 15 to 20 miles south of where we were sitting.  I knew the area well, having lived in the Hartford area during my college years.  Radar usually shows up in greens, yellow and maybe red for a fairly strong storm.  This storm cell had purple, hot pink, black and even a spot of white.  White?  I have never seen anything in the black area before.  White?!

Then a yellow spinning ring appeared on the radar screen.  What was that?  If I had to guess, I would have guessed it meant circular winds.  I’m a good guesser.  That’s exactly what it meant.  Hmm . . . winds spinning – isn’t that what a tornado does?  Yep!  The meteorologist started explaining that the spinning ring meant that the conditions were ripe for a tornado.  What?  In Connecticut?  Suddenly another ring popped up right next to the one we’d been watching.  Several minutes later, two more!!  Yikes!!

The weatherman explained that really severe conditions were happening in those places.  Suddenly two of the four rings turned from yellow to red.   The weatherman explained that the color indicated the altitude of the spinning winds.  Yellow was higher up in the atmosphere.  Red indicated at or close to ground level.  OMG!  Finally they reported that the National Weather Service had issued a Tornado Warning for that area.  Duh?  What were they waiting for?  These guys had told us 20 – 30 minutes earlier.  Much better warning for local residents!

Suddenly rings popped up down in Fairfield County.  There was another tornado warning issued for that area.  I watched, mesmerized.  It was still raining where I was, but it was just light rain.  We hadn’t even gotten wet today.  And there were tornados possible so close to where we sat?  Amazing, weather is.

I have to give kudos to the meteorologists at WFSB Channel 3 out of Hartford, CT.  They technology they were using is even better than what we usually watch on WCVB out of Boston.  But more importantly, they delivered information calmly, with details and useful instructions.  There were no histrionics.  There was no hysteria.  They stayed on point – no real digressions.  They were professional, even when you could hear the rain, hail and thunder on the roof of their studio.  I was truly impressed! 

Tomorrow morning will be mostly clear when we make our way to the airport and jet off for Alaska.  But we certainly had quite a send off from Connecticut!

Depressed in No Man’s Land

I just spoke to my friend on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota, some 2000 miles away from me, for about an hour on the phone. (My husband will love that bill.)  But there was no way I could hang up.

My friend lost her 16 year old daughter in mid-March.  She died at a friend’s home but her mother made it there before the paramedics because medical care and emergency response times on the rez are not what they are for the rest of us – even those of us in rural areas.  She watched the emergency crew try to resuscitate her daughter.  Until today I had not gotten the full story.  Apparently her daughter, who had a history of convulsions, had a convulsion while taking a bath and, because she was unconscious, drowned in the bath. 

My friend has tried to keep her children safe and well, in spite of odds that are certainly piled up against her living on the reservation.  She had vowed not to treat her children like her mother had treated her.  I learned more new things today.  I learned that when my friend was young, her mother had sent her to live with her grandmother.  Then, when she was 12 years old, her mother put her in a dormitory (I think she was referring to boarding school) until she was 18.  When she got out of there, she met her daughters’ father and quickly got married so she could escape the rez.  He was from Salt Lake City and they moved there.  But the relationship didn’t work and she moved back to the rez in 1995, even though they didn’t officially divorce until 2002.  She has fought tooth and nail to keep her family together under circumstances that most of us cannot imagine.

Two of her daughters have been raped.  They have lived in other people’s homes until last fall – sometimes sharing a small home with a dozen others.  They have had their food stolen so that family members could sell it and buy alcohol.  They have had their cell phones, CD’s and even clothing stolen for the same reason. 

Last fall they moved into a house that barely stands.  It is not insulated, had broken windows and no way to heat it.  My husband and I paid for an electric heater through the organization One Spirit.  It was the only heat they had for the little house throughout the winter – blizzards and all.  They have no running water.  They are still waiting for the tribe to get them a water tank so they will have water storage at least.  They have used an outhouse since they moved in – imagine that in the South Dakota winter!  They had no furniture to speak of.  My husband and I bought them beds for Christmas.  I could not stand the idea of my friends sleeping on the cold floor.  They have no major appliances.  No stove, no refrigerator.  We’ve sent an electric skillet and a toaster oven.  Laundry and showers are done at family members homes.  They have no transportation.  A family member gave them a car last year – if you could call it a car:  broken windshield, mechanical problems, physical damage.  A typical “rez ride.”  Now the car needs a wheel bearing.  It will sit in the yard – there’s not enough money for food, let alone car repairs.  So they will walk everywhere again.  If you know anything about the reservation, you know that distances between settlements areas and services are measured in multiples miles, not blocks.

Then in March, her daughter died.  It appears to have been the final straw.  She had failed her child – at least in her own mind.  I knew she was taking it hard.  I helped with the funeral arrangements where I could and you can find more about it in another post. 

The other day I got an email from my friend.  That meant she had gotten to the Oglala Lakota College campus in the next settlement area.  But what she wrote concerned me.  She sounded even worse than she had in March.  This is what she wrote:

 

How are you doing? I know it has been a long while since I wrote to you. Well I’ve been staying home, mainly in my bedroom, I sort of isolated myself from everyone on the rez. I’ve been taking [my daughter's] loss very hard, I’m suppose to go too another ceremony to accept her eagle feather and I am also suppose to Sundance but I can’t right now, my family has been having it hard health wise, and I don’t want them to point their fingers at me and say that I caused these problems, they are strong believers in my culture. You know my heart is so broke right now,  I expect too see my [daughter] everyday.

You know the morning she passed away, I woke up real early about 6:45 am that day, I was going to call her, but I thought she would chew me out like last time so I didn’t call, instead my brother in law called me and said  she wasn’t breathing, I told him to start CPR, I caught a ride out to My brotherinlaw’s and I saw her little lifeless body laying there everyone was doing what they could to help her, but when I walked in his house I knew deep down that she was gone when I saw her, that runs through my mind all the time, I wished I picked her up night before, she would be here today.

When she passed away I went to a ceremony for her and she was brought to me by a bear carrying her on his back, I was feeling scared in this lodge, and she said don’t be scared this bear is a big old fraiddy cat, then a few weeks after that we had a lowampi (healing ceremony) for her sister and she came back she said we would see her in our dreams, and we all had our different dreams of her. In my dream we were on a really high mountain, clouds all around us and there was Emily standing there in a white buckskin dress and she was saying look mom, look how pretty it is up here, she said don’t be scared this is what I wanted you too see, I was on the prettiest mountain up in the sky then I woke up and  started crying because she wasn’t there when I woke up. i sometimes think I hear her in my room saying mom in a really faint voice, It is very hard for me to let her go. I hope you understand why I haven’t been calling or emailing you, I’m bearly starting to leave the house, I don’t really see anybody anymore. I have alot on my mind especially her memorial coming up, I have nothing to offer, I can’t even get her a headstone, How sad is that? Alot of things need too be done and not enough time, it sucks right now. I hope to hear from you my friend.

                                                                             Always and forever

So I called her today.  I’m leaving on vacation tomorrow and didn’t want to let this go without responding.  She was at home.  She said again she doesn’t leave the house if at all possible.  She cried almost the whole hour we were on the phone.  She is obsessed with her daughter’s death and it is obvious that it is more than grief at this point.  She is definitely clinically depressed and may be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (how odd that PTSD keeps cropping up in my life).  You don’t need to be a professional to see what the problems are. 

But the biggest problem is that she is not responding to anyone’s attempts to help her.  Her husband has told her she needs to go to the “clinic.”  Her other daughters have tried to get her to think of other things.  Even her mother showed up at her house to take her out.  Nothing and no one  seems to be having any success.  Today I tried my own tactics.  In addition to talking and listening, I asked her if I had ever asked her for anything in the years we’ve known each other.  She said no.  I asked her if she would do something for me.  She said yes.  I told her I wanted her to promise me that she would go to the doctor for some help.  She said yes.  I made her say it – I promise.  I know that she will not break a promise to her family.  I am praying that she does not break a promise to me.  I think she considers me family – I was the first person she called after her daughter died.  My husband may call her husband tonight to let him know about that promise – his reminders will help. 

I will be praying for her and I hope you will, too.  I will be on vacation for two weeks.  I may call her anyway. 

There is no vacation from being a friend.

Evolving Prayer

When I was young, I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church.  I went to CCD (aka Cathechism) classes.  I memorized prayers.  The Lord’s Prayer, the Hail Mary, the Glory Be, the Act of Contrition, the Act of Faith, the Act of Hope, the Apostles’ Creed, etc, etc, etc. 

When I was a young adult, I was received into the Episcopal Church.  Same faith, different man made structure, no infallible humans (in matters of the church or anything else).  It suited me.  There were some of the same prayers and some new ones that I liked.  I didn’t have to memorize them, but when you say something often enough, it is etched into your memory anyway.

Now that I approaching 57, I’ve been considering the various prayer “waystations” I’ve visited along the way to where I am now. 

I’ve learned about kinds of prayer:  Praise, Petition (asking something for oneself), Confession, Intercession (asking for something for someone else) and Thanksgiving.  I’ve read and heard about verbal vs nonverbal prayer; praying with the body; the practice of the presence of God; written or memorized vs spontaneous prayer; various types of meditation; praying in “tongues”; praying in song; praying in community vs praying alone.

I have found that everything has something to commend it to our use and not everything works for a person all the time.

 I think when you’re young, praying in words – your own or memorized – is a great help.  I know that, in my experience, it was easy to petition, give thanks, intercede or confess (well, maybe that was a bit less easy).  Praise was something built into most memorized prayers, but it really didn’t mean that much as a child.  I think praising God comes from experiencing God in your life – and most children just haven’t had enough time to find that place. 

A note about age and memorized prayer.  When I was a kid, we heard prayer in public school – generally the Lord’s Prayer.  Every day, “Our Father, ….”  I already knew it and didn’t think much of it.  Everyone in the class seemed to know it.  In stressful times, it was easy to fall back to – say it and repeat and repeat and … there was a rhythm and sameness that was soothing and reassuring.  These days, I serve as a Lay Eucharistic Minister and Visitor.  One of my “duties” is assisting our priest at a monthly service at the local nursing home.  There are usually 25 or so elders in various conditions and states of mental alertness.  They have booklets to follow the service if they want to and some do.  Some seem to doze.  They quietly mumble the responses.  Then we get to the Lord’s Prayer.  Suddenly everyone participates – loudly and strongly – “Our Father …”  Even elders who were seemingly “out of it” remember that prayer.  So I think when we teach our children these few memorized, frequently used prayers such as the Lord’s Prayer, we give them an anchor that will keep them from going adrift in much of their lives.

I personally have a few other memorized prayers that I have learned along the way that seem to be particularly important to my own life.  I think to be helpful, prayer has to be personal – it has to be tailored to the person who is praying.  We don’t all fit the same mold.

At this point in my life, I find it very difficult to pray in words, especially the flowery ones you hear from some preachers.  I guess I have come to try to “practice the presence of God” – to know every moment, in every task, that God is with me, knows what I need, loves me and wants to be with me.  I do not need church or preacher to be in that place.  I can find it equally doing laundry or being mesmerized by the Rocky Mountains.  It becomes trite to me when I try to put into words what my soul is trying to say to God.

I still practice intercessory prayer – but not in a very literal way.  I offer those I love or am concerned about to God in my heart with every thought of that person.  I know it is God and not myself who can give them what they need or open their eyes/ears/minds.  I very rarely ask for anything for myself.  I know I will have what I need – my years have taught me that and I trust it.  I sometimes wish I could “give” that trust to others, but it is something we each have to find in our own time and way.  If I ask for something for myself these days, it is usually for the right words to say to someone else or the right way to try to help someone. 

I have had times in my life when meditation has been of great value.  These days, if I meditate, the only prayer that I can use is the “Jesus Prayer.”  I’m sorry I’ve forgotten it’s source but I know it has been used by many Christian traditions.  It’s quite simple and can be pared down to four words.  The full prayer is:  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.  The crux of the prayer:  Lord Jesus have mercy.  It can even be used on the treadmill, which I do from time to time. 

I have felt the Spirit of God and have spoken in “tongues” but don’t feel it’s necessary for prayer.  For me, it has happened when I have felt so close to God that I could not think – there were no words or ideas that would shape in my mind.  It is, for me, always linked to great feelings of awe and praise and joy. 

I don’t think any particular type of prayer or manner of praying is better than another.  I truly think that whatever prayer can bring us closer to God is the right prayer – for that moment.

I think it matters less how you pray and more that you pray.  I think prayer is our acknowledgement that we are not all knowing or all powerful, even though we often act as though we are.  We are human – with flaws and imperfections.  Prayer is our attempt to draw closer to the One who is without flaw and perfect – maybe then a little more of that will rub off on us.