Yesterday was great! Overnight, the humidity and temperature dropped. In the morning it was cool and dry. I felt great, too! Fibromyalgia went into hiding and I had enough energy to get some things done. But of course, there was the temptation to overdo it and I succombed.
I really wanted to vacuum the living room rug. It’s not that big. I wouldn’t do anything else. Just that small rug. I felt good. So I did it. I was good and true to my word – I only did the living room rug. I didn’t feel too bad afterwards, just a little low back strain.
That was yesterday … this is today. Today it’s still really great weather. My energy is a little lower, but not too bad. But my low back on the left side has a nagging, aching pain to remind me that I still haven’t learned my lesson when it comes to fibromyalgia. It’s always such a struggle when I do feel good to force myself to not do the things that I want to do because there will be a big price to pay. The pain is my body’s way of telling me I’m stubborn. It’s true.
When I feel good, what I want to do more than anything is yardwork. You can keep housework. I know I wanted to vacuum, but that was only because the need was dire, not because I enjoy the task. But yardwork … I long to be able to do that – trim the shrubs, weed the garden, plant and prune. I try to keep myself reined in. When I don’t, I pay a price much higher than the joy I had doing the work. The fibromyalgia invariably flares up. The pain can put me out of commission for days. For a few hours of fun, I can loose days to pain. But the internal struggle is most frustrating.
I don’t get depressed. I get angry. I’ve told my husband that I can’t sit outside and watch him do the work because it only makes it worse. I appreciate what he does but wish with all my heart that I was the one doing it.
I think it’s time to go do something about this pain in my back. That’s another thing I’ve learned about my body and fibromyalgia – I’ve learned to know when I can just let things be and when I need to treat the pain so it doesn’t escalate even further. This one needs to be treated. Besides, tomorrow is a bridal shower for the girl my husband’s nephew is marrying next month. If I don’t take care of this now, I won’t be walking after the shower. Sitting too long can actually be as bad or worse than doing too much.
So pain meds and hot pack, here I come.