What a day! I hate days that start out so promising and then crash all around you. The plan was that my stepson was going to bring his girlfriend of a year to visit us for the first time this afternoon. Just a couple of hours of easy entertaining in the afternoon. No problem.
The morning went well enough. My son took his car in for an oil change and a pre-Massachusetts State Auto Inspection-inspection. No, I’m not stuttering. When your car is a bit older, it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead. Especially if you had emissions issues last year that needed work. You don’t need that last minute “Rejection” sticker to complicate life. He was supposed to call me when he found out how long he would be. He never called. He did come home about 1PM (he had gone in at 9 AM).
It helps to know that my 25 yr old son has Asperger’s Syndrome. It helps to know that I have trust issues with the Herb Chambers Hyundai dealership. So when he came in and told me that all that was done in that time was an oil change, I was concerned. He then told me, as best he could recall, that the left rear wheel needed bearing replacement (about $500) and, since they couldn’t determine what was the problem with his emissions, he probably needed a new computer in the car (about $1650). They wanted him to spend over $2000 on a 2001 Hyundai Sonata? On something that “might” solve the problem? My blood pressure started going up, I’m sure!
My husband had a half day at work today and got home about 1:30 – thank God! He picked up the mail on the way in the door. He should have left it there! My son got a notice from MassHealth that they had decided he makes too much money, so they were going to change his insurance plan, increase his premium 100% and stop paying his MediCare premium. My son is totally and permanently disabled by the Asperger’s Syndrome. He gets Social Security disability income and he works part time at Kohl’s to supplement that. But he makes too much money? I suspect that, now that Mass requires every citizen to have insurance, they are trying to get rid of some in the MassHealth program to save money where they can.
Well, with company expected at 2:00, my cool was about to be lost. Not a good thing. These issues of money and health coverage are my 2 weak points when it comes to my son – well, I guess they’re my weak spots in general. But my son doesn’t understand why these things get done sometimes and doesn’t really know how to stand up for himself because of the AS. He’s too trusting and lacks street smarts. So that mom in high gear thing went into overdrive. Not good for a woman with fibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia is definitely effected by stress in a negative way. Pain and fatigue increase as stress increases.
My stepson and his girl arrived promptly at 2:00. I do love people who are on time. He must have gotten that from his dad! We had a very nice visit. She was not shy and the conversation wandered all over the place – hockey, travel, their plans to visit Boston tomorrow. My little hummingbird friends even came to the picture window to “say hello” while we were sitting there.
By the time they left about 5:00 because his mom was making dinner (I really didn’t know she could cook – she never did when he was living at home), I was exhausted and famished. While I pushed myself to get things out for dinner, my husband lit the grill and made the buffalo burgers. After we ate, we finally got to talk and I finally got a hug. Boy, I needed that hug!!!!!
We haven’t stopped yet – talking and trying to solve the problems, that is – not the hugging part. I can get as many hugs as I want, of course. I am so blessed that he knows enough about fibromyalgia that he knows when to start shouldering the “heavy thinking and problem solving.” I feel like someone opened up the energy spigot in my body and drained every bit of energy out. Maybe it feels worse because the day started so relaxed and pleasant. It is really a relief to have someone I can count on to take over at times like this. I didn’t know what that was like until I married this man!
So it’s back to square … well, I don’t think it’s square one, but it’s definitely a few steps back for me, anyway. I plan to take all this stress and hand it over to God. I’m really waiting for that miracle now. That’s how I got the wonderful man I’m married to and many other things. Really.
I was a single mom for 10 years, getting no child support, working 60 hours a week toward the end of that time. Exhausted. Stressed. In pain. At my wit’s end. So I really got ticked off at God and let Him know it. I told him (yes, out loud – very loud – the kids were with their grandparents) that He had promised to take care of me and now was the time He “damned well better do it!!” You know that Biblical story “Ask and it shall be given?” Well, within a week I had this wonderful man in my life. We’ve been married almost 11 years now. You know, if I had known that all it would take was getting demanding with God, I’d have done it sooner. Maybe that’s what I need to do now.
Actually, I’ll let my husband deal with the automotive issues, tell my son to file an appeal for a hearing on the health insurance and take care of my health. If I don’t do the things I need to the fibromyalgia problems will only escalate – that won’t help me or anyone else. It’s all in God’s hands tonight – I need some sleep. Maybe you’ll say a little prayer, too, if you’re so inclined.