It’s silly. I know it’s silly. Still, I’m really tickled pink about it. My stepson’s girlfriend told him she likes me better than his mother. I told you it was silly.
I would put money on the idea that, if any of you are second wives or second husbands, you have felt some amount of hope that the people around your new spouse like you better than the first one. And trust me, I don’t bet money lightly!
I know my husband likes me better. There’s never been any question about that! He shows me and tells me, and has for almost 11 years. He hasn’t changed his mind. I know that his parents like me better – they’ve said so, too. That’s easy to understand, really, because they hardly ever got to see their son when he was married to the first wife. She was so opinionated that he wouldn’t take her to visit his parents very often. We visit frequently and we all enjoy the visits. (Unlike my mom, they don’t expect us to spend 12 hours on each visit.)
But this feels different. I really liked this girl, too. I don’t know whether this will be “the one” for him. But if she is, I could be very happy about it. Maybe I feel this more because I know how close my husband and his son are. Much closer than my stepson and his mother. I know it would be important to my husband for his son’s girlfriend/wife to like me because of that closeness.
My stepson may also be my only source of grandchildren. My daughter has no interest in children at 28 and I won’t push her the way my mother pushed me. My son, with Asperger’s Syndrome, will also not be likely to have children. So if I have any grandchildren, it will probably be my stepson’s children. I don’t need grandchildren to make my life complete and I will not define my as someone’s grandma if I do have them. I have never understood that total absorption with grandchildren. But they’ll definitely be loved and spoiled.
Okay, I know, this is the cart before the horse. Just speculation. But this feeling is not speculation. It feels good to know someone likes you. It’s the reward for working on yourself for all these years; for trying to be a kind, loving, thoughtful person. I’d have done the work anyway – that’s what I think we’re on this earth to do. But it is good to know you’ve been at least a little bit successful.
I’m going to savor this feeling. I’m also going to tuck away the memory of it so that I can pull it out on one of those “nobody loves me” kind of days. That way I’ll remember I am appreciated. When you get a lot of these memories, it’s hard to stay down for longer than a few minutes!