Payback is to be expected with fibromyalgia. It may be the only constant in an otherwise fickle condition. I’m getting mine today.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. Temps in the 70’s and dry, nice breeze but not really windy. It was the kind of day that gives me added energy and makes me feel like doing something. So I did.
I should know better. The aggravating part is I really didn’t do much, though my body disagrees with that assessment this morning. You be the judge.
What I did:
- Cleaned the filter and vents on the air conditioner in the bedroom
- Made dinner
- Washed, dried and folded the quilted bedspread
- Put some bird seed in the feeder
- Went with my husband to Home Depot to pick up a few things
- Washed the dishes
- Changed the cat box
- Did some internet research
- Watched the end of the Red Sox game with my husband – very intense – rookie making his second start pitched a no-hitter!
How I feel this morning:
- Very stiff neck, shoulders and upper back (pain level 6)
- Headache “trying to start” in my forehead and my skull at the top of my neck (pain level 3)
- Legs aching, esp. below the knee (pain level 4)
- Low back ache (pain level 4)
- Feet hurt when standing, esp heels (pain level 4)
- Hands and feet stiff
- Mid-back stiff
- Fatigue after a good night’s sleep (level 6)
- Sleepiness (level 5) after 7 hours of good sleep – intense desire to curl up in a ball and pull the covers over my head
- Fibro fog creeping in (level 2)
- Feels a bit like my neighbor came in with his pick-up truck and ran me over while I was sleeping
It really seems so unfair to feel so good one day, do some small things and feel so lousy the next. I should be used to it after over 40 years, but I still don’t expect it from time to time.
I have to get ready for church, too. Have to leave in about 20 minutes. “Jammies” is not usually accepted attire, even though “dress codes” have relaxed significantly over the years. Have to drive myself – my husband is working on installing a storm door this morning and doesn’t want to interrupt his project. I wonder if I should go to at least pray for some healing.
I do believe in the ability of God to spontaneously heal a person – in theory. It hasn’t happened to me yet and I do know that God can always say “NO” to our requests. I seem to have less faith that it will happen for me. Don’t know if that’s false humility or lack of evidence.
There is a healing ministry moving to this area soon. The Roman Catholic priest has been engaged in this service for years and has had a number of “success stories.” But I have doubt and I think that would probably be my downfall. I’m more apt to look for miracles in the gift of doctors and medicine. Well, at the least, I know a little prayer never hurts!!
Down to 15 minutes to get ready. Not good on a slow day like this. Have to get my lazy, sluggish butt moving! Maybe I’ll feel better if I get moving – sometime that works. Talk to you later!
Okay – I’m sorry to tell you that prayer didn’t cure what is ailing me today. At least, not yet. Got home with more of I headache than I had when I left. Not a good sign. Time for medicine. Since my husband is still working on that new storm door – the frame was rotting so it had to be replaced first. He wasn’t happy with that discovery! So I’m trying to stay out of his way. Kind of wish I had a sound proof room actually – the whine of that saw and the pounding of the hammer are not compatible with the pain in my head.
I tried computer games for a while but today there is too much pain (level of 6-7) to be overcome. I think a nap will be in order.
An hour’s nap and plenty of strong medicine have made a world of a difference. Pain level is back down to about 3. Since it’s never zero, I can live with 3. But now I’m starved! A cup of yogurt and a few crackers don’t hold me very long, I guess. But . . . my husband is still working on that door.
I’m really getting frustrated doing nothing. I know if I do something, the pain level will go back up. This is the part of fibromyalgia I hate the most: to have a great day and be unable to do anything in it. I really don’t care what it is – work or play – I would love to be able to do something, anything! I’d do yard work or clean the bathroom willingly. But I know that if I did that today, the pain would only get worse and stay around longer at that level. In the “old days,” before I knew as much as I do, I would have headaches that lasted 7 to 10 days. That’s right – it wouldn’t matter what medicine I took or how much, the headache would be there when I woke up in the morning, stay with me at varying levels all day, be there when I tried to fall asleep – day after day after insufferable day. It’s the kind of thing that makes you start to think about driving into a tree. Glad I never did.
But now I know that, when the pain gets to a certain point, I have to stop. As frustrating as it is to do nothing seriously physical, experience has shown me it’s the only thing that works.
When it comes to living with pain every day, you either learn to listen to your body or the pain beats you. I plan on winning!