I don’t have any real “tasks” to accomplish today. The past weekend was busy. We went to my in-laws so my husband could help his dad with the yard work – raking leaves and such. Although Dad was cleared to go back to his usual activities “within limits,” my husband didn’t want him to overdo it. Apparently his sister felt the same way. She had to work Saturday morning but sent her fiance over to help also. Many hands really do make light work.
No, as much as I would have liked to do yard work, I didn’t allow myself to be stupid. Fibromyalgia has taken away yard work. I could do it. But I wouldn’t be doing anything for the next week. So I have learned to let my desires take a back seat to common sense – most of the time, anyway. I’ve been working at that lesson for over 40 years, so I guess I’ve accomplished something.
I sat with Mom and talked about everything under the sun. Health, travel, men, kids. Drank coffee. A really pleasant couple of hours. My sister-in-law came over when she was free and we decided to all sit down for pizza when the yardwork was done. I know, pizza isn’t exactly on the weight loss program, but 2 slices as your main meal of the day doesn’t kill you if you don’t do it very often.
After lunch, we left to run errands. My husband has been researching HD TV after I made the mistake of commenting how good one looked when we went to BJ’s the other day. I should know better – you just can’t make an offhand comment about tech toys to a man without starting the wheels in motion. Since more and more TV will be HD, we decided it would make sense to check prices. So that’s what we did – we went to this local store in Spencer – narrow aisles to weave through, cartons used for displays, that kind of thing. What Whitco lacks in frills, it gives to its customers by way of low prices and excellent service. It’s where we got our washing machine. They do have the model we wanted, so . . . we bought it. It will be here Tuesday – just in time for the holiday season.
I did get to see some of the Bruins’ hockey game while we were in the store and by God, I could see the puck for a change – even at a distance. And I could actually read the names of the players on the backs of their jerseys. Maybe I’ll start watching hockey on TV again instead of just listening to it while I do things like this.
We decided to go to a bookstore we like to see if they had a certain kind of book I’m looking for for my Lakota friend’s daughter for Christmas. We knew the store had moved from their original location. We had been to the new location . . . or so we thought. When we got to the “new” location, we discovered they had moved again – and we knew not where! By that time, I was dragging a bit – standing around in the TV store had really strained my back and feet. I decided I was too tired to enjoy going somewhere else to look for a book, so we came home.
Sunday started out with church. I was serving as Lay Eucharistic minister today, so I was on my feet more than usual. After coffee at Fellowship Hour, we came home to plant seeds. I had bought some seeds in Montana that I wanted to get in the ground now so they’ll germinate in spring. Listen to me – we planted seeds. Mostly, I supervised. My husband raked and stirred the soil. I scattered the seeds on the ground. He covered and cleared away the debris. I said nothing about the acorns that were already taking root in the garden. He had pulled up some and I would have pulled up more of them so there would be less weeding in the spring. But when someone else is doing something for you that you can’t do yourself, it’s better to appreciate what has been done than to complain about what wasn’t. I did get to walk around the yard sprinkling slow-release fertilizer over the flower beds. That was something.
Sunday was our 11th wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe it’s only 11 years sometimes. I feel like we’ve always been together and I know we always will be. My husband is my soul mate. I often use the image of a jigsaw puzzle with one last piece to put in. When I met my husband, he put that final piece into my self. I feel complete and whole. I trust his love in a way that I had never trusted anything else in my life. Even when we disagree, there is never a doubt that he will always love me. He takes such good care of me and makes room for fibromyalgia in our relationship. He fell in love with me when I was overweight and made me feel desired. He still does, even though my weight has increased.
My only regret is that we didn’t meet earlier. I know – we wouldn’t have been the same people earlier in our lives and might not have connected. But I really would have enjoyed raising children with him instead of my first husband. My first husband had Asperger’s Syndrome, I think. It was never diagnosed, but many of his behaviors were similar to my son, who has been diagnosed. I didn’t really hate him at the end. It was just like having another child, though. I remember sitting in the marriage counselor’s office and asking him if he cared enough about the relationship to work at making changes (as I was) to save it. He said, “No.” I felt like the biggest burden in the world had been lifted from my shoulders in that moment. There was no pain, just relief. I didn’t have to continue to hit my head against that brick wall (figuratively speaking). I have never felt so free in my life.
I spent 10 years as a single parent and had decided I would never want to marry again. Well, apparently God had other ideas for me. On one particularly difficult day, I told God that he had promised to take care of me and He’d “damn well better do it soon” before I lost my mind. One week later, there was my soul mate. Maybe I should have gotten demanding with God sooner!! The rest, as the say, is history . . . or maybe I should say our-story. Happiness, trust, support, love – what more could I ask for.
Well, I could ask for dinner that was served on time. We went to eat at a restaurant called Michael’s which is near our home before going to the market. I try to NEVER, EVER go grocery shopping when I’m hungry. It’s the best trigger for overindulgence I’ve ever found! It was a good thing we didn’t have an appointment at the market. We waited a few minutes to be greeted and seated. We waited another 10 minutes to have someone take our beverage order. We ordered – my husband had the Prime Rib and I chose the Filet Mignon – it was our anniversary celebration, after all. They had a salad bar to which we were entitled. Great – we got the salads, but had no utensils to eat it with. My husband caught the waitress’ eye and asked for flatware. Oh, sorry, sure, right away she said. Five minutes later, as I was nibbling on the carrots like finger food, my husband got up to find the waitress and again ask for utensils. They arrived five minutes later. At least we had something to keep us “amused” while we waited for our entrees. Another couple came in and were seated near us. And we waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. Half an hour later, my husband again got up to go inquire about our food. Soon, he was told. He came back looking less than pleased. The couple who arrived after us got their food. My husband was getting a bit steamed. He could see the heat lamp area where food is held until it is served. What appeared to be his meal was there, but mine was nowhere to be seen. He got the waitress’ eye again – food?! She checked and said a couple minutes. He knew his was ready. The food did come a few minutes later – with the explanation that the filet mignon took longer because I asked for it without wine sauce. What? Forget it – let’s just eat – I’m starving. Since my husband’s meal had sat under the lights for 7 minutes, I suggested he try it while the waitress was still there. He hates cold food. Sure enough, the steamed broccoli was almost cold. He sent it back and asked for a fresh, hot dish of broccoli. It was back quickly, very hot – the same dish that he had originally gotten and taken a bite from. They had obviously used the microwave on it!
When the waitress took the broccoli back to reheat, she also took my husband’s napkin. Rather than try to get another one (who knew how long that would take!), we shared mine. How romantic. We hadn’t eaten there in quite some time and you can probably guess we won’t be going back for an even longer time.
Grocery shopping was a pleasure after that meal. The rest of the evening was relaxing.
Today, except for a few small chores, I get to relax again. Tomorrow the whirlwind starts. Tomorrow morning I have my follow-up psych appt at the weight loss center. In the evening I have a church Search Committee meeting. I hope to get home in time to watch Dancing with the Stars semi-final result show on our new TV, which my husband will be picking up while I’m at the meeting. Wednesday should be fairly quiet. Thursday we have dinner out with my family (please, God, let it be better than yesterday’s meal/service!). When dinner is finished, we go to visit my in-laws, either at their house or my husband’s nephew’s house, depending on the time. Friday, as you most likely are aware, is “Black Friday.” I plan to fight the mobs for a few of those really low prices. Most of my shopping will be done online, I think! Saturday will be house cleaning day in preparation for dinner with the in-laws on Sunday. Then I collapse.
So I will really treasure this quiet day today. It is the calm before a stormy week.