My body is a “quick change artist” and I hate it. No, I don’t hate my body. I hate the fibromyalgia that causes the sudden, unpredictable changes.
Today started out slow but at least the pain level was low. It just took a while to fully wake up. I had planned to have nothing much to do today so I could “recover” from serving dinner to my in-laws yesterday. That went really well – good food and good company. One thing I love about my in-laws is that they know not to overstay their welcome. A visit of a few hours is enough for them. If it had been my parents, they’d probably still be here.
I finally got the dishes done around noon. (Yes, I’m the only “dishwasher” in this house.) They had been rinsed well, so it wasn’t bad at all. My husband came home for lunch around 1:00. When he went back to work, I called my Lakota friend in South Dakota. I couldn’t talk to her – she has no money to put minutes on her cell phone and they don’t have a land line. But I can leave a message on her cell phone, so that’s what I did.
I’ve been worried about her and my “godchild” since we visited them in October. Her uncle, the father figure in her life, died while we were there and it hit her really hard. We also learned that my “godchild” had been in an altercation at school and taken to “juvie” because of it, as well as being suspended from school. Since then, she called me from an emergency phone at an agency because they had run out of food. We did what we could – arranged for a Thanksgiving meal through a group called SHARE and sent out some flat-rate boxes with canned goods.
I learned that she had to quit her job as a housekeeper at a motel during that conversation, because the pinched nerve in her neck was causing so much pain. She also admitted that she is having a difficult time leaving the apartment. I suspect she is clinically depressed. I doubt she’ll get the help she needs. I also learned that my “godchild,” whom we had promised to bring here for vacation next summer if she stayed out of trouble in school, had already been in trouble again!
So I sat down and wrote several letters a week or so ago. I told my “godchild” that I was very disappointed that she had made the poor choice of getting in trouble at school again. I told her she would not get to come to Massachusetts to visit us because of that poor choice. I also wrote to my friend so that she would know how concerned I am.
Today, after I called my friend to let her know we were thinking of her, I called my “godchild’s” school and asked to speak with the assistant principal whose name I had been given by my friend. I knew he couldn’t speak to me without my friend’s permission, but I wanted him to have my name so that, if my “godchild” needed anything, he could contact me. It turns out she was out of school again – another fight, another suspension. He couldn’t tell me what he’d have liked to – we walked the fine line of confidentiality. But what he could say was enough to make me really worry. I told him about the “deal” we had made with my “godchild.” I told him he could use my name when he speaks to her tomorrow, as she is scheduled to return to school tomorrow. I have a slim hope that knowing it mattered enough to us that I called her school will maybe help her realize what she’s doing.
She sent me an e-mail yesterday. She told me she had “taken a good look in a mirror.” She asked for a second chance. I believe in second chances – I also believe you need to learn to be responsible for your actions. We have decided that a second chance will be offered. But no third, fourth, fifth, etc… chances. But I think I’ll let her sweat a few days before I let her know.
Her mother sent me an e-mail today. She’s having trouble finding work and will be signing up for “day work” in the next few days. Apparently she fought with her mother after her uncle passed. She and her mother have always had a rocky relationship. She says her mother said some really nasty, mean things to her about her life and her children. She says her mother “disowned” her. She has cut off contact with her completely.
How difficult it is to be so many miles away!! She needs a mother figure. I’m a natural at that. She needs a mentor – the whole family does really. I wish I had strong contacts in Rapid City so that I could find someone to look after them for me. But, as the old proverb goes, “If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride.” I keep holding them up to God in my prayers, but that doesn’t stop me from yearning to be there and give her the support she needs.
Even with all this going on, I felt fine at supper time. Got done eating about 6 and didn’t have to be at the Search Committee meeting at church until 7, so I sat back down at the computer to check a few things out. And then it happened! My left shoulder, especially the chest wall muscle, started cramping or spasming or whatever the heck you want to call it with severe intensity. I couldn’t take any meds – I had to drive to a meeting (and stay awake through it). I put on a Thermacare heat wrap in the hope that it would help; it may have, I’m not sure this time. But the pain was there all through the meeting and was certainly distracting.
I can’t figure out what triggered this pain. Usually, I can think back to something, however seemingly innocuous, that can be related to a pain flare-up. Not this time. Oh well, it wouldn’t make a difference if I could, I guess. It won’t make the pain go away – though it might help me avoid it next time around – or not.
It turned out to be a short meeting and I was home by 8. God does listen to my prayers, gratefully. Before I sat down to watch the Final Competition show of Dancing with the Stars, I took some medicine. I’m still waiting for it to do something at 10. This is really nasty – I hope it doesn’t make for a really poor night’s sleep.
I think I’m going to wrap up here and go do some “serious” praying. Pray for relief from some of this pain. Pray for my “godchild” and her family. Pray that the Search Committee can complete the interview process with patience. Maybe I should add world peace and an end to poverty while I’m at it.