If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride. I don’t know the origin of that saying, though it was obviously prior to the age of autos. I do know that it is absolutely true.
If it only took wishes, I would have had no pain from my fibromyalgia today. The day itself was beautiful – sunny, in the low 70’s, gentle breeze. Unfortunately, my body did not cooperate. I woke today feeling much the same as I had yesterday – achy all over, with special emphasis on the left side. I tried to ignore it while I skipped breakfast and took medication instead. We left the room about 9 AM and I was not a happy camper.
Our first stop was The Roberts Studio in Seymour, TN. The owner is an artist who specializes in making plans for woodworkers. Dad has made many of her projects and wanted to see her work since we were in the area. Her work is lovely and I recognized many of the designs from Mom and Dad’s house. Dad had brought one of his projects with him so he could get a sort-of critique. He doesn’t seem to realize that his work is really, really good. He did get positive feedback, gratefully, as well as some tips and answers to his questions.
Our next stop was Subway, where we picked up sandwiches for a picnic. Then we were off to the Smoky Mountains. We had planned to go to Cade’s Cove, but the road was out, so we drove to the Little River picnic area. We found tables next to the river. It was sunny and the river was running fairly fast. It was delightful to listen to. After eating, we took out our folding chairs and sat, enjoying the water-flow music. Then Dad got cold. We left shortly thereafter.
We drove back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. I had really wanted to drive up to Clingman’s Dome, though Mom and Dad hadn’t been too enthusiastic about it. My husband decided that we would go anyway and if they didn’t want to come, they didn’t have to. Of course, they came – they didn’t want to be left out of the fun. I love the road that curves and winds its way up the mountain. It’s narrow and you have to go slowly. Trees line the way until you come to an overlook, where you can pull out and view the fantastic vista. It seemed there were quite a few dead trees in some spots, but it may have been the result of fire. They were so far away, it was really impossible to tell for sure.
We finally arrived at the end of the road. Even from the parking area, the view from Clingman’s Dome is splendid. I knew I was not going to climb the half mile path to the viewing tower – not the way I felt today. I expected my husband and his father to do it, but they didn’t. Mom never got out of the car. The height was too much for her, even though we weren’t even close to the edge. She said she was looking at the view from the car, but I have my doubts. When I returned to the car, she had been looking down and shielding her eyes. To keep the sun out of them? I can’t say.
We got back to the hotel about 7 PM. Dad and my husband walked to McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat (my husband hates McD’s food); Mom stayed and so did I. I had already been a bad girl and eaten a bag of lime Tostitos over the course of the day. When my husband came back, he brought me a single scoop of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream.
I realized that, while I started this vacation eating fairly well, the stress of being on the road with more than just my husband has drawn me back into a familiar and damaging habit. I have been eating more and more poorly as the days go by. Part of it is watching everyone else eat badly and deciding to throw caution to the wind myself. The other part is that eating carbs has a physically calming effect on me. I really have to stop. I can say that easily right now – I’ve already eaten the ice cream and chips. I said it just as easily last night, after I ate the large piece of fudge my husband got me when I wanted something chocolate. I want to say forget it and just eat whatever I want until we get home next Sunday. I shouldn’t, but I don’t know how else to cope with the stress. I tried the treadmill and it didn’t work. I tried a lot of things. I have to “just say no.”
If my wish tonight comes true, I won’t hurt tomorrow – at least not as much as I have the past 2 days. Then maybe I can get myself back on track.
If wishes were horses . . .