It’s day 3 of a moderate fibromyalgia flare-up. It seems to be tied in to the humid, rainy weather we’ve been having, but that could just be a coincidence. All I know is that right this very second, if I could go back to bed and sleep without the pain, I would be overjoyed.
It all started Thursday morning. I got up about 8 AM and followed my usual morning routine – take medications and read the papers online. I was pretty achy, but figured that was just a result of walking all over Mystic, CT the previous day. By 8:30 I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I don’t mean tired as in physically tired for doing some kind of work. This is a fatigue that seems to swallow my whole body. I have no energy in my muscles at all and it takes a major, conscious effort to do anything – it takes an act of will! My eyes just want to droop closed and it takes everything I’ve to to keep them open. I finally gave up and went back to bed. That seems to help the overwhelming fatigue, but then the muscle aches increase. I can’t win.
Somehow, I muddled through Thursday, though I didn’t get much accomplished. It seems unfair that, after 2 really good days, I should get tagged with such a flare-up. I know, whoever said life would be fair?
Friday morning dawned dank and murky. It’s so humid, it feels like being in a cold steam room. I slept really well last night, or so I thought until I woke up. It felt like I’d been hit by a truck – a box truck instead of a big rig perhaps. My arms, legs and back ached – it’s a gnawing, dull ache, like having a toothache throughout your body. There was also a bit of pain in the left side of my neck that was beginning to cause a headache. Not a good way to begin the day.
I “celebrated” Independence Day by taking some Tylenol along with my usual morning meds, cooking up a plate of scrambled eggs with mushrooms and cheese (which I’ve been craving) and going back to bed after I ate. Neither the food nor the medication worked any magic. When I got up around 10 AM, not having slept any more sadly, I still hurt. So I took some Aleve and ate some crackers (low fat Wheatables). I’ve lost over 25 lbs in the past 6 months and I hate to ruin it, but food seems to help with the pain somehow. I really hate to lose any weapons in my pain fighting arsenal
My husband had spent all morning putting in a new dry well to help rainwater drain away from our basement. I knew he’d want a good meal and I sure wasn’t up to cooking. So we went out – I let him choose, since I knew I wouldn’t choose wisely. Besides, I really didn’t care. That’s where fibromyalgia becomes dangerous. It sucks out nearly all of my self discipline. I begin to care only about relief. My husband decided on the Clam Box. Was I good? Did I stick with broiled fish? Of course not! I had deep fried whole-belly clams. Boy, were they good! Fries, too. The food tasted great, though I’m sure it didn’t help the weight loss cause. I took muscle relaxant and 800 mg Ibuprofen with my meal.
I tried to vary my activity a bit more in the afternoon and evening – back and forth between the chair at the computer and the sofa to watch TV. Not that I could keep my attention on either one for very long. I took more Tylenol. Not much help there either. At bedtime, I took a second dose of the Ibuprofen and muscle relaxant.
Here it is Saturday morning and I haven’t made any progress. Neither has the weather, which is still damp and grey. I awoke feeling like that truck came back last night. I tried spending 20 minutes doing stretches before I even got out of bed – it didn’t help. Now I sitting here at the computer. It’s quarter to 10 AM. I’ve managed to read my e-mail and check the obits in the local paper (online). Now I’m trying to write – emphasis on trying. After each sentence or clause, I pause because my eyes drift shut. I’m not sure how long they are closed before I force them open again and plod on.
The crazy thing is that I take Ritalin as one of my morning medications, to keep me more awake and alert. It’s a small dose, but it usually helps. Not with this flare-up, though. I think I’ll take my second dose soon, before I fall asleep sitting here. I’ll take pain meds of some kind, too.
I really hope I can shake this flare-up before tomorrow. I’m serving at the altar in the morning. Not a good place to fall asleep. Then we’re going to my sister-in-law’s for a cookout. We got a last minute phone call Friday to see if we wanted to go and I hated to say no. My husband doesn’t have much contact with his siblings, so I usually try to support any that comes along. I won’t be a very pleasant and chatty guest if I haven’t beaten this flare-up by then. Someone will have to wake me when my burger arrives!
Oops, it happened again – the eyes closed and I have no idea how long they stayed that way. I may have to add a bit of caffeine to my diet today. Usually I avoid it like the plague – it makes me feel queasy. But desperate times call for desperate measures!