My sister’s favorite saying is “timing is everything” and the saying has some validity.
Today, because of poor timing on the part of several, I am ready to either cry or slap someone. And since anger is not a helpful emotion, I will probably eventually fall on the side of frustration and cry my eyes out. But first I am writing.
I think I am a very understanding and compassionate person. I understand when people take on more than they can handle. However, I am having a difficult time being understanding today, even though I think it is better to know what I know now than in future months.
Here’s what happened today to set me off.
First my husband called me from work to let me know that my son, who has Asperger’s Syndrome and is 28 years old, has missed 7 days of work since the beginning of the year. NOT good! This is especially true since he has been in his own apartment for the past year and needs to pay his bills. We know it is not his “dream” job and we know he doesn’t like to drive in bad weather. But that does not excuse his irresponsibility. He needs to “man up” or he will be living in a group home instead of his own home.
So of course I am upset. While I was still on the phone with my husband, who graciously offered to call back, I got a call from a new sponsor whom I had assigned last night. Yes, just last night!
She has decided not to sponsor the 2 elders she so dearly wanted to sponsor. The ones I spoke to yesterday to tell that they now had a sponsor. The ones I mailed letters to this morning! Letters that are already on the way to South Dakota.
The “sponsor” decided, after seeing the assignments, that she was not up to direct sponsorship – that is, contact with the people. So she wants me to be in touch with them, post their needs to the OKINI list and then she can donate them anonymously. She could have been an anonymous donor from the beginning with OKINI but did not choose that path.
Now I have to call 2 elders and tell them that the sponsor I told them about doesn’t want to sponsor them — or at least doesn’t want any contact with them. That is so hurtful that I don’t know how I am going to do it. And to have to call the day after I spoke with them and heard the excitement in their voices is really painful for me.
I know I often write about being a sponsor and I tweet a lot about the need for sponsors. But please, if you do not want to have a relationship with the person you are sponsoring, don’t ask for direct sponsorship. Donate through OKINI or the food program. Don’t promise what you cannot fulfill.
We all have our quirks and flaws. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to call perfect strangers. I understand that.
I guess I don’t understand quitting before you try. Contact doesn’t have to mean phone contact. It can mean letters. Letters are less personal.
I can see what I am doing now. I’ve run out of steam for the anger and I’m just rambling on — procrastinating because I don’t want to make the phone calls I have to make. I guess I can’t put it off much longer.
Thanks for listening. Boy, the timing on this one is bad.