In my class recently, we were discussing an event that had been presented. I wrote about it on February 15, 2011 under the title Timing is Everything. One of the events I had written about was a sponsor who asked for 2 elders then backed out the very day she got my email regarding the assignments – but after the elders had already been informed and snail mail sent in the morning mail. I was very distraught that day. However, in response to the blog post, someone volunteered to step in and replace the original sponsor for both elders. I believe this second sponsor will actually be an even better fit than the original.
One of the women in my class stated that this reminded her of the “placekeeper” theory that she had found to be true in her life. I had not heard of that theory and asked her where she had learned of it. She said it was her own creation based on her personal experiences in life.
This is the “placekeeper” theory. There are people in our lives – some of whom we become very close to, some not as much – who are there to “hold a place” until the “right” person for that place comes into our lives.
She felt the experience I had with the sponsors was an example of this. If these elders had not been given to the first sponsor, followed by her subsequent decision to withdraw, the place would not have been available for the second sponsor to volunteer. If they had been given to a sponsor who decided to continue even though she was not happy doing it, the elders would have had a bad experience. Perhaps the second sponsor would not have made the decision to sponsor at all if the first had not held that place, however briefly.
I have thought about this theory in relation to my first marriage. I thought I loved my first husband and I thought he loved me. We had 2 children. But my first husband did not turn out to be the person I thought he was. He was not a good husband for me and as the children got older, he was not a good father to them. But he was a good “placekeeper” until my present husband – who is a good husband and a good father to my children – came into my life.
I think I have experienced this numerous times in my life, as had the woman in my class.
I can see it in the lives of other people I know.
Can you see it anywhere in your life? Is there anyone who is or was a “placekeeper” in your life?
Perhaps this theory will give you a different way to look at them and at your life.