All Over the Map

This is going to be one of those hodge-podge kind of posts.  There’s a lot going on around here.

First of all, I was without a car for a little over a week.  Not because there was anything wrong with my car, of course.  It was my son – the guy with Asperger’s – who had his car die.  When a mechanic puts your car up on the lift to check the brakes and asks, “Are you sure you really want to put money into this car – the frame is rotting?” you know you have a BIG problem.

So my husband gave my son his Taurus to use, then took my car to work – leaving me with no wheels.  That was the least of the problems.

The big problem was that my son, who just signed his first lease on his first apartment, could not afford a car payment along with paying rent.  That meant he had about $2500 to replace the car he absolutely has to have to get to work – to pay the rent.  He started out by checking listings online.  My husband and I checked all the places nearby that we could think of.  It’s difficult – the terms “reliable transportation” and “nearly free” are really incompatible!  We finally located a place that we thought might work. 

We told my son hehad to go look and talk to the salesman.  That’s no easy assignment for a kid with Asperger’s.  But he did it.  It was another of those events that told us he really has progressed – to think it only took 27 years.  He found a car and finally picked it up early this past week.  I had my car back!!!

My husband has been having some issues with . . . well, ED.  If you don’t know what that means, you’ve never watched sports on TV.  There’s at least one commercial per session about either natural or prescription enhancement products.  But the problem here was that even with the prescription, there were issues.  I suspected either stress or other health issues, especially since there was some issue with fatigue and mood swings as well.  The doctor decided to test his testosterone.  Bingo!!  Chalk one up for the good doctor.  The test revealed that his level was down about a third.  So we now have a nice prescription gel that will improve his hormone level.  Probably won’t need that other prescription after a while!  You can be sure that’s one prescription I won’t be touching – at this age, I have enough pesky chin hairs already!

Wednesday was the only really nice day we’ve had here in a long time and we decided to go to a Sox game.  No, not the Boston Red Sox – their minor league affiliate the Pawtucket Red Sox.  I suggested it because John Smoltz, who has been there on a rehab stint, was pitching his final PawSox game before heading up to the big team.  I thought it would be a great way to see the guy and not have to pay an arm and a leg.

The Pawtucket Red Sox play in McCoy Stadium – in Pawtucket, RI, of course.  It is a clean, family-friendly venue – much more intimate than the major league parks.  The cost is much better in this economy – our lower level seats cost $10 each.  General admission is only $6 per person.  Amazing!!  Even the concession stands were not overpriced.  My husband had been there before but I had not.  It was a great place.

The game was fun, but S … L … O … W.  It started at 7 PM and by 9:30 PM we were only at the bottom of the 6th inning.  Baseball is a slow game, but this was becoming tedious.  Smoltz looked “so-so.”  They got a lot of contact off him and if it wasn’t for the hard work of the outfielders, there would have been quite a few more hits.  There were a lot of pitches hitting the dirt around the mound, too.  When Smoltz left the game, we were treated to the superb pitching of Clay Buchholtz.  This guy belongs in the majors!  He had speed, location and confidence.

I began to have problems with my back and a mild headache in the second inning.  Fibromyalgia is apparently not a baseball fan – or at least not a fan of the baseball stadium seats.  By the sixth inning, I had a wicked headache and enough overall pain that I feared I would end up with a major flare-up!!  Since my husband had to work the next morning anyway, I asked if we could leave.  It wasn’t hockey, after all.  I had already taken a muscle relaxant and some serious pain meds with no relief.  My husband could see I was not doing well and we left right away.  As it turned out, the score when we left, PawSox 9 Charlotte Knights 3, was the final score as well – so we really didn’t miss anything, right?

I did spend Thursday with a kind of muscle relaxant “hangover.”  No energy and a fear that the pain might still flare up.  Gratefully, by resting and not pushing myself, I was feeling better this morning. 

Today my husband had a half day of work, so we took his parents out to lunch to celebrate Father’s Day early.  Then we went over to their house to spend some “quality time.”  My husband’s son will be here from Delaware for Father’s Day and I’ve gotten them tickets to a Manchester (NH) Fisher Cats minor league baseball game.  No more baseball for me for a while!  I just wish the weather forecast for Sunday was better, but I guess that’s one thing I can’t control.

I wish all fathers a Happy Father’s Day, regardless of the weather.  Fathers – and mothers – have the hardest job on the planet.

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A Little of Everything

I’ve spent much of the past 2 days in and out of a “Fibro Fog.”  It was a light fog, to be sure – not the kind that causes me to be unable to do anything at all.  This was the kind that made focusing difficult.  I needed to write myself notes to be able to remember things I needed to do or calls I needed to make.  But I could at least get a little done.

Sunday was a pleasant enough day.  The weather was beautiful – I’d like to live wherever the weather is like that every day, if there is such a place.  After church, we headed to Old Sturbridge Village, in Sturbridge, MA.  This is a recreated 1830’s New England farming village at the beginning of the industrial revolution.  Most of the buildings are historical and from that period.  They do have a few homes that were more recently constructed using materials and methods true to the period.  They have made a few additions since our last visit there.  There are a couple of “new” homes and there are educational walking trails off the beaten path; a woodland trail, a pasture trail and a river walk.  There was a pontoon-type boat ride ($3 per person, a bit high for what you get, I think) that runs on the Quinebaug River.  While there are paths cleared out, there are more hills and impediments on these trails than on the village’s regular paths.  It was quite a work-out for an overweight gal with fibromyalgia.  Shortly before we left, my right knee started aching and my feet, especially my heels, started to hurt.  We saw the working farm, but declined the opportunity to help harvest root vegetables.  We passed the blacksmith, the carding mill and grist mill, the saw mill and tavern.  We visited the general store and could not pass up the Joe Frogger (molasses) cookies (how to undo the good of walking in a few bites – at least we just shared a cookie!).  We took the “Gossip’s Tour”, which was delightful.  An elderly woman conducted the tour, which focused on a number of “invented” families who live near the town common.  The gossip was information and anecdotes about the people based on journals and other written material, as well as commentary on the social and political changes occurring at that time.  The group leader did the tour “in character” and it was very educational as well as entertaining.  We would recommend it.  We stayed for several hours, then went back home for dinner.

My husband was kind enough to put steaks on the grill, so all I had to do was make baked potatoes (in the microwave) and salads. 

My son was home on Sunday.  He seems to be having some trouble adjusting to his new job.  That’s not totally unexpected with Asperger’s, since change is something persons with this syndrome have a problem with.  And we have learned over the years that his reporting of what is going on is not always accurate.  Not that he lies – he doesn’t seem to lie outright, ever.  But he also has a difficult time saying anything that makes someone else look bad, due to the A/S.  So we never get the whole story from him.

For example, he worked Saturday and was scheduled 2 – 11 PM.  He came in about 9 PM and my heart sank.  I feared he’d been fired.  He told us that, since there was no truck to unload, he had been doing all sorts of odd jobs during the day and they ran out of things to have him do, so they sent him home.  Hmmm …  When we talked about it on Sunday, there wasn’t much else we could get from him.  No, he wasn’t fired.  “There just was nothing to do.”  We told him he needed to call his job coach on Monday to discuss this because his hours had been cut for the next schedule.

We spent the evening on Sunday watching hockey.  Charter Cable finally finished their negotiations with the National Hockey League, so Center Ice was finally available!  Good thing we had been on vacation the week before or my husband would have been a very cranky man.  I don’t know why Charter always seems to wait until the season starts to finally get their act together.  Not how I’d run my business.  Of course, sometimes I wish I didn’t have hockey to watch.  You know, when the first game you get to see with your favorite team (in this case, the Tampa Bay Lightning) ends with them losing because upper management can’t seem to find them a proper goalie, it’s really frustrating.  At least I got to watch one of my favorite shows, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on the “good” TV – my husband wanted to use this computer, which has the printer, for a while, so I got the TV remote in exchange.  Good deal.

Monday morning I got up and decided to head to the treadmill first thing.  Amazing!  Not that I went very far but still, this is the second time in a week I’ve gotten myself to do this.  So 15 minutes at 2.4 mph is better than nothing.  I just have to take it slow.  I’ve learned from previous experience that I have to start slow and build up or the fibromyalgia will flare up and I’ll be back farther than square one.

Unfortunately, the rest of the day was a wash.  The “fibro fog”, you know.  I did get a few phone calls made – to the doctor’s office and such – but didn’t accomplish much else.  My husband, knowing I didn’t need stress since the fog was obvious, decided to contact my son’s job coach to get the real info on what was going on at his job.  Good thing he did.  He is a good worker when he’s unloading trucks.  But there isn’t always a truck to unload.  My son has been giving them “attitude” when he doesn’t have a truck to unload.  “He was hired to unload trucks.  He doesn’t have anything else to do.  What should he do?”  So he was told, if you can’t find something to do, you might as well go home.  And he did.  Took them at their literal word.  He’s lucky they know about his disability and are trying to work with Mass Rehab.  Otherwise, he’d probably have been fired.  I know I wouldn’t stand for that kind of “lip” if I was a supervisor.  So my husband stayed up until my son got home at 11:30 last night so he could have a “chat” with him about what he had learned.  I hope it helps.

I did get to see the dance competition of Dancing with the Stars, week 5, after missing 2 weeks due to vacation.  The dances were the rumba and the samba.  They should have been really hot and spicy, but most of them fell short.  Maybe mid-season fatigue and crazy schedules are catching up with the stars.  Marie Osmond was the first celeb to dance.  She did a credible job dancing, then proceeded to faint as they listened to the judges’ comments.  Certainly dramatic on live TV.  She was fine in the end.  Mark & Kym were “entertaining” but really left a lot to be desired.  Sabrina got a lesson from Mark Ballas’ mom, who was a champion Latin dancer, on how to dance with her son.  Hmm….  Helio took Julianne to the beach in a car that looked like it belonged on the race track so they could rehearse in a different atmosphere.  It must have worked, because I thought their dance was one of the steamiest numbers I’ve seen.  Cameron and Edyta also steamed up the dance floor with their performance, although it may have been Edyta’s costume (nearly naked, I think it’s called) that was most responsible for that.  Mel B took Max to London with her so they could continue to train while she also did a photo shoot with the Spice Girls.  They both also got upper respiratory infections.  However their performance was spectacular.  I can’t figure why she would have been in the bottom 2 last week and Mark Cuban wasn’t.  I doubt that will happen again.

This is the season of competition – for the TV.  We have good new shows, hockey and the Red Sox have made it to the World Series in most dramatic fashion.  I really wish I had more energy to enjoy it.  But you never know – fibromyalgia is such a fickle thing.  I may feel great tomorrow . . . or later today.  Right now, however, it’s time for a nap!!

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Patience – still learning

You would think that, after 55 years of practice, I have gotten the knack of patience.  I have had to be patient with myself because of fibromyalgia.  I’ve had to be patient raising children (all you mothers know that’s a never ending battle).  I’ve had to be patient when I was teaching.  I’ve even had to be patient with my mother.  I think I flunked tonight’s lesson.

My husband has been trying to figure out how to replace the screen door on the sun room that’s attached to our garage.  The house was built about 50 years ago and the garage/sun room (detached) perhaps 3 years later.  The garage/sun room was not built by the original – it was built by my great-grandfather and his friends.  The house was originally owned by my grandparents.  Anyway, it means that things aren’t necessarily the size that they would be today – doors, windows, etc.  Even the garage is a bit small – only a few inches on each side of the SUV going in and out!

The sun room door is attached on the interior, instead of the exterior.  It is narrow.  If you try to attach it from the exterior, as you normally would today, there will be a gap.  My husband is trying to figure out how to replace that door. 

What was trying my patience, however, was that he was attempting to explain it all in detail to me.  He was attempting to explain his idea to remedy the situation as well.  I could not picture what he was describing to save my life!  Frankly, I don’t care how it gets done as long as it works.  But he insisted on explaining it again and again, trying to get me to understand.  I finally broke!  I told him I didn’t want to hear anymore about it.  I think I hurt his feelings.

I love my husband dearly.  He is an angel who has made my life complete.  But whenever he does a project around the house, I get to hear a blow-by-blow description of the problem, the solution and each step along the way.  In minute detail.  I try to listen.  God help me, I do.  But I know I start to glaze over at some point every time.  And I do care!  But the small details just don’t matter to me when it’s already done.  Great job.  Time to move on.

I have gotten better.  Twenty years ago I had much less patience.  Some of that may have been because I was always exhausted.  Fatigue is a huge drain on patience.  But I’ve also worked at it.  I just don’t give a detailed analysis of the project.

Writing tonight is difficult.  The Red Sox game is on next to me and is just enough distraction that I can’t seem to keep focused.  Or maybe it’s that my legs have been aching all day today from the fibromyalgia.  They did have an interesting human interest story about this baseball game on the evening news.  A 92 year old woman, a life long Red Sox fan, was getting to go to her first game ever.  She remembered when Babe Ruth played!  They interviewed her and I was surprised at her well being.  In spite of having had both legs amputated when she was 68 due to circulation problems, she was full of life and very articulate.  She makes 92 look like the new 65!  We should all be so lucky!

I was particularly impressed by her comments about the amputations and being wheelchair bound.  She said that some people in that position seem to hide from life but she has never been inclined to do that.  She said it was because of her condition that she has made some good friends and done things she might not have otherwise had the opportunity to do.  What a positive attitude!  I suspect that attitude has something to do with her getting to 92 with so much life left in her.

That’s how I try to live my life.  It certainly isn’t easy.  But I remember my first husband used to tell me he thought I was always making excuses for people and “letting them off easy.”  That was because I tried to understand why people did what they did.  He’d just say they were stupid.  That was helpful.  Why do people cut in line or imitate low flying planes when they drive down the highway?  They think they need to, for whatever reason.  It may be wrong, but it’s what they believe.  It isn’t my place to judge – just to stay out of their way.  My first husband wasn’t one who should cast stones at others  …  but that’s another story.

I think I’ll go call my mother.  I haven’t heard from her since we dropped off the stuff she wanted on Saturday.  That ought to give me something to write about in the morning!!

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Un-eventful

It’s really too early to decide what I want to write about today.  It’s almost 8:30 AM EDT and I’ve been up for a while, but up and awake are not necessarily the same thing.  But I wanted to make a note to myself, that you will have to read, too.  I find it interesting which of my posts get the most interest.  I figured the sports post would have the most hits for some reason, but I was wrong.  It seems to be the health, travel and Lakota posts that garner that honor.  I’m glad – I think that says something positive about you all.  Well, since I skipped grocery shopping yesterday, I am obliged to get it done this morning – obligation and responsibility, hmm … that could be a soap box topic.  Later.

Okay, I’m back.  It’s actually closing on 8:30 PM, so it’s been about 12 hours.  It’s been such an exciting day!  Got the groceries bought (under budget –  hooray), put them away and took off my shoes (I hate shoes!).  Put the ingredients for pulled pork into the slow cooker.  That took care of supper.  After lunch I applied pesticide to the lawn – there are more ants than grass, it seems.  All right, not really, but they are ruining the lawn.  I really mulled over whether to use it or not, because I worry about what it could do to the birds.  But nothing else has worked, and I’m really sick of grass with ant hills for punctuation, so I grudgingly decided to use it.  Let’s hope it works.

Got a call from my “godchild” in South Dakota while I was at the market.  She left a 15 second message.  I’m sorry that she used her mom’s cell phone time and I wasn’t here.  I didn’t know it was the cell phone, of course.  I just had a SD phone number on my caller ID.  So I tried it back later and got her mom on the cell phone – she was at work – oops.  Very brief call.  She said she’d have my “godchild” call back when she got home from work – around 6 PM my time.  As I noted, it’s now about 8:30 PM and still no call.  But I’m not worried this time.  It’s just “Indian time.”

I also got an e-mail from her mom this morning.  She got a library card so she can access her e-mail.  She’s tired but happy to be away from the rez.  My “godchild” wants to go to the waterpark for her birthday in a couple of weeks.  She told her they can’t afford it.  I think I will make arrangements for the family to go to the water-park.  It’s amazing what you can arrange over the phone.  Frankly, I think the family could use a day of fun together. 

She also told me that although her middle daughter is still not with them, she now knows where she is.  She just needs a car to go get her.  She’s thinking of putting her back in the juvie center because at least she will be safe there.  And maybe she’ll learn something while she’s there.  That’s such a difficult decision for a mother to make.  I know it breaks her heart.

If I don’t hear from them by tomorrow night, I’ll probably try calling again.  Or maybe I’ll do it when I’m done here.  It’s still early there.

I think I’ll go listen to the Red Sox game – maybe even watch a few innings.  I’m not sure I can stand the excitement after such an exhausting, eventful day.  But I’ll try.

Later.

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Just Call the Game

Would you just call the game already??!!  I can’t tell you how many times that phrase has been uttered in this house (by me).  Especially when the Red Sox are 1) on the West Coast or 2) not on NESN.  If they are on the West Coast, the game runs too late, so we end up watching another game.  If they aren’t on NESN, we have different, really bad announcers.  Don’t let anyone tell you that any person who played a game or knows it well can be a good announcer.  It’s a lie!

The Red Sox NESN announcers, Don Orsillo on the play-by-play and Jerry Remy on analysis, do a great job of balancing calling the game and giving stats and background info.  That’s really the key, balance.  They are obviously hoping the Red Sox win, but they don’t sound like such “homers” that you forget there are two teams playing.

They do one other thing that make them fun to listen to – they have fun and don’t make it sound like a matter of life and death.  I think I enjoy listening to Don and the “Remdawg” for another reason.  Jerry is from my generation.  I always guessed that he was, based on the music and events he refers to from time to time.  Then I found out the truth.  I am two days older than Jerry Remy.  Two November babies.  No wonder I find him so funny.  I could write more on the Remdawg, but that would take me away from my primary focus here.

Announcers.  Especially television announcers.  You are supposed to have two announcers with different job descriptions.  You have the announcer whose responsibility is to do the “play-by-play,” to tell you what is happening during the game.  Someone to tell you what the action is.  Facts.  The other announcer is supposed to do analysis or “color.”  That includes statistics, players’ personal information  and stories about the sport in general.  This should not be difficult.  Just call the game.

What you often get, in actuallity, are two guys (hardly ever a woman) who are really interested in one team more than the other.  This is especially annoying when they are doing a national broadcast instead of a local station broadcast, and thus are supposed to be somewhat impartial.  An example of this that sticks in my craw … I mean, in my mind … is when Fox did the Red Sox/Yankees games in Boston instead of the local crew.  We had Joe Buck and Tim McCarver – or as we fondly call them, Joe S**k and Tim McYankee – to listen to.  All they talked about was the Yankees and the their big players.  You would never have known, if you weren’t told, that the game was actually in Fenway Park in Boston or that there was another team playing.  We’ve listened to them do games in which the Yankees did not play and they still talk about the Yankees, who aren’t even in the game!  Just call the game!

Another thing that gets tedious is the color man who won’t stop talking long enough for the play-by-play guy to call the game.  We get to hear the color man’s experiences and thoughts and speculation about what could happen next.  Often the analyst can also read players minds – at least that’s what I have to assume is happening when he keeps telling us what various players are thinking!  Just analyze the play.  Just call the game.

One more thing that drives me crazy is the quantity of statistics these guys are fed by “the truck”.  Now I have nothing against some stats.  They help you know whether the player or team being discussed has a prayer of winning.  But do they really think the rest of us are going to remember or care about all those numbers.  Folks who want stats can find them easily in these days of the internet.  Don’t bore us to tears during the game.  Just call the game.

I’ve written about baseball because that’s what’s in season right now.  And let’s face it, the game can be slow and the announcers may have a bit more time to fill.  My real love is hockey and I’m looking forward to hockey season with its action.  But I am not looking forward to many of the hockey announcers, who are guilty of all the above transgressions.  Frankly, I think it’s worse in hockey, because the action is so fast and so much can be missed while the analyst babbles on and on and on …  There are only a few hockey announcers who do it right.  They tell you what’s happening.  My favorites are Mike Lange, who used to do play-by-play for the Pittsburgh Penguins on TV but is now relegated to radio (sometimes we mute the TV and deal with the few second radio delay on the internet so we can hear him), and Rick Jeanneret and Jim Lorentz who do the games for the Buffalo Sabres.  The latter team is probably the best hockey team in broadcasting.  Why?  They just call the game.

I think I’m sensitive to the flaws of the majority of announcers because I often end up listening to the games instead of watching them.  When I am on the computer, the TV has its back to me.  So I listen.  Sadly, there are many times when I can’t really follow what’s going on in the game.  It makes me think about those who have poor eyesight and rely on the announcer for their understanding of the action.  I also think about those who are not really familiar with a sport and their introduction to it is one of these sad excuses for announcers.  

There ought to be a test: an announcer must call a game for which a blind person who knows the sports grades him.  Pass or fail.  No passing grade, no work on TV or radio.  I suspect we’d have a lot of unemployed announcers. 

But at least the ones left would do it right – they’d just call the game!!

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